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Sunday, November 10, 2013

Treat people the way that they treat you

Give as good as you get and you'll never be disappointed. I have a person in my life who literally calls me for every little thing. Now mind you, this doesn't bother me. I realize my role here and I don't mind giving anyone a shoulder to lean on. It just so happens that I was unavailable to this individual for the first time ever and this person took it upon themselves to badmouth me.

Part of me wanted to giggle, Out of 100 times, I have been there 99 times and this one time that I couldn't, I was the bad guy? Or in this case, the bad girl.

What it made me do was question the worth of this "friendship" to me. Do I really need someone in my life who takes and rarely gives?

How often do you find yourself lending a shoulder or a hand to someone who always seems to be
emotionally needy? In those moments, when you check-out for a few breaths and think to yourself "i'm never going to get these minutes back", do you ever want to hit the pause button and say "dude, get a grip, the world cannot revolve around you". It happens to the best of us.

Personally, for me anyway, my conduct with a person lays solely on their treatment of me.  I don't suspend reality and buy into everything that I hear. I let my opinion rest only on my personal interaction with a person and I will treat you accordingly.  If however, I find that I am being taken advantage of, needless-to-say, I will more than likely let a friendship go.

In cases where you find yourself rescuing an emotionally needy person, you're really only enabling them to use you as a crutch. I realized that I can sometimes be a crutch and not a friend. A friend will tell you when it's time to get over yourself, while a crutch will run to your aid and think that they have helped you.

In closing, I'm just going to say that I now recognize my "crutchy" and enabling behavior and yes, it took a "needy" person to complain about me in order to make me see it. Granted, that helps me more than it will help the needy but the important thing is that I have learned something that I will use as a tool going forward.




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